For years, I feared being alone. I thought that if I didn’t have constant company, something was wrong with me. But I’ve since realized that solitude was the space I needed most. Because deep down, I wasn’t just avoiding quiet—I was avoiding finding real friends who truly aligned with who I was becoming.
Why I Was Afraid of Finding Real Friends
I used to fill every moment with noise, company, or distractions.
💭 “What if I’m alone forever?”
💭 “What if no one really gets me?”
💭 “Maybe I should just stick with the friends I have, even if it doesn’t feel right.”
I clung to relationships that didn’t align—because being alone felt scarier than being misunderstood.
💡 But eventually, I realized: If I wanted to start finding real friends, I had to stop fearing solitude.
1️⃣ I Used My Alone Time to Start Finding Real Friends Within Myself
At first, being alone felt empty and unfamiliar. But little by little, I started to see it as an opportunity—not a punishment.
💡 The Shift: I stopped avoiding alone time and started embracing it.
🔹 What I Changed:
✅ I journaled to explore what I truly wanted in friendships
✅ I asked myself what lit me up, drained me, or made me feel safe
✅ I reflected on how I had shown up in past relationships
🚀 The result? I got clear on who I was—and what kind of people I wanted to attract.
2️⃣ I Let Go of Draining Connections to Make Space for Finding Real Friends
Being alone helped me see which relationships were built on habit, not connection.
💡 The Shift: I realized that holding on to draining friendships was blocking the space for real ones.
🔹 What I Changed:
✅ I stopped forcing friendships that felt one-sided
✅ I set gentle boundaries with people who didn’t respect my energy
✅ I allowed space for better friendships to grow—even if it meant being alone for a while
🚀 The result? I made space for aligned, healthy, uplifting connections.
3️⃣ I Became the Kind of Person Who Attracts Real Friends
Spending time alone helped me see the kind of energy I wanted in my life—and it started with me.
💡 The Shift: I realized I needed to embody the type of friend I was looking for.
🔹 What I Changed:
✅ I showed up with honesty, compassion, and openness
✅ I nurtured my emotional health so I could be more present
✅ I became more intentional about how and where I connected with others
🚀 The result? I started naturally finding real friends who matched my energy and values.
The Truth About Finding Real Friends
I used to think that loneliness was something to avoid at all costs. But now I know:
✔ Solitude can be healing—it gives you space to realign with your truth
✔ Being alone isn’t failure—it’s preparation
✔ Finding real friends starts with becoming real with yourself
💡 Time alone isn’t the end of connection—it’s the beginning of deeper, truer relationships.
What’s Next: How I Stay True to My Values in Every Relationship
Once I found the right people, I learned that the next step was showing up as my full self—without shrinking, over-giving, or losing my identity.
In my next post, I’ll share how I stay rooted in who I am while building strong, healthy connections.
📢 Have you ever gone through a season of solitude that helped you grow? What did you learn about yourself and your relationships? Let’s share in the comments 💬
📩 Subscribe now for weekly CGC Wellness reflections + free tools
📢 Follow CGC Wellness on Instagram and Facebook for support in finding real friends, healing, and staying true to yourself
